Paradox
by
Trish Williams
TITLE: Paradox
AUTHOR: Trish Williams
EMAIL: bartricia_w@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Romance [Teal'c/Other], angst
SPOILERS: "Children of the Gods", "Family",
"Bloodlines"
SEASON / SEQUEL: Set during the 3rd season
RATING: NC-17 (translation: there's sex in this here story!)
CONTENT
WARNINGS: sex, mild profanity
SUMMARY: Teal'c finds the inspiration to write of his past, and
potential future.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Our God, MGM/UA, who art the owner of all things Stargate
SG-1, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom
come, Showtime/Viacom's will be done, by Double Secret and Gekko Productions
on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this fanfiction, which is my daily
bread, and forgive me my trespasses as I twist thine stories into those
that fulfill my fantasies. For thine characters are owned by you,
and you have the power and the glory while I enjoy the fantasy for no
pay or sexual favors, forever and ever, amen. This story is for entertainment
purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement
is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property
of the author. This story may
not be posted elsewhere without the
consent of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
"You and Junior want to hang out tonight?" Jack asked casually.
It had been a pretty rough mission they'd
just gotten back from and he was in the mood to blow
off some steam.
"I do not wish to join you at this time," Teal'c
answered. Truth be told he would rather rest and
meditate than spend a night watching Jack make
lascivious conversation over intoxicating drink.
Although his expression did not show it, he
appreciated O'Neill's efforts to include him in his
exploits.
"Awww come on," Jack prodded, plopping himself down
next to him on the bunk. "You can't always be a stick
in the mud."
Teal'c gave him a puzzling look.
Jack mirrored Teal's expression. "Don't you at least
want to get laid? Oh wait, you used to be married."
Then Jack thought some more. "So I repeat, don't you
at least want to get laid. How long has it been
anyway?"
Teal'c gave Jack a semi-embarrassed look. "That is
personal," he said.
Jack was about to say something smart again but
decided against it. It wasn't like Teal'c couldn't
kick his ass if the mood struck him. He was pretty
strong for an old fart.
"In all seriousness," he began, the concern showing in
his voice. "I worry about you. It's not like Drey'auc
is going to divorce her current husband and come back
to you. And considering how quickly she took up with
your best friend, who's to say she hasn't latched on
to some other sap in the Land of Light? I know you
miss her and your son but I say you're better off
without her."
Teal'c knew what Jack said made perfect sense. It
wasn't like he was in love with Drey'auc although he
adored her. She was the mother of his son so he had
no choice but to honor her-no matter what she had
done. Loving her, or her loving him was never a
guaranteed part of the arrangement.
"I miss having a wife," he said, putting his head in
his hands.
Jack clapped him on the back. "I admire you. I didn't
miss having a wife even when I had one."
Teal'c gave him a strange look. It wasn't one Jack
hadn't seen before.
"And by the time I did miss her, it was too late. I
was too caught up in my own bullshit to realize that."
"It was no fault of hers that I did not love her,"
Teal'c said.
Now it was Jack's turn to look confused. "Then why did
you marry her?" he asked.
"It is a long story, O'Neill."
Jack decided to go out on a limb. "Did you love any
woman?" he asked.
Teal'c didn't answer. The expression on his face
confirmed what Jack thought.
"Some of us mere mortals need to get laid every once
in awhile," Jack said with a devilish grin as he got
up and walked towards the door of Teal'c's quarters.
"So with that said, I will see you in the morning if I
get lucky."
Teal'c waited until Jack had locked the door before
reaching under the bunk for something. He pulled out
a small journal and inspected it with hesitation,
turning it over and over with his large hands. It had
been a Christmas gift from Captain Carter. He'd never
considered himself a scribe but on more than one
occasion he'd thought that he would like to chronicle
his experiences on Earth. If something were to happen
to him, there would be something of himself to leave
behind.
So why in the name of all the Gods had it taken him
over a year to write since he got the journal?
Actually, he hadn't been inspired until recently.
Over the past few weeks, he kept seeing something.
This something had affected him so deeply, he knew he
had to do something about it. The problem was, he
didn't feel comfortable telling anyone.
Teal'c picked up a pen that was sitting on a nearby
table. He balanced it between his fingers, examining
its fine detailing. Slowly, he mulled over in his
mind what to put on the blank page that beckoned.
What should he say? What could he say? He just knew
if he didn't put down what had inspired him to write,
it just might die inside of him. And the act of
writing might just force him to deal with something
that happened to him long ago.
He thought he would start with the usual scribe-like
beginning drivel he'd seen in so many documents on his
world. How they'd start off with their name, who they
were in the service of, who had begat them, who had
begat the begotten, and who the begotten was writing
for to whom. He figured he'd just bypass all that and
get to the point before he lost his inspiration.
Teal'c delicately pressed the pen down to the paper
and began to write.
_If she knows I am watching, she does not show it. I
see her walk through the halls of the SGC facility
with the grace of a queen. Men find her very
appealing, but she does not bend to their flattery.
All they receive is a soft response for noticing her.
It is as if she is in a world unto herself._
_Why she reminds me of May'at--there are so many
reasons. Perhaps it is the way she holds her head, the
way she shows concern for those subordinate to her, or
the way she gives a gentle smile upon giving her
morning greeting. There are very few of her kind in
this place. But out of all of them she is the first
to remind me of the one I first truly loved._
Teal'c paused in his writing and flashed back to a
time he'd pushed to the far recesses of his mind. His
senses inhaled a smell that brought memories rushing
back to him. He was sitting crossed-legged at a desk,
a finely-crafted brush in hand. A warm, sensual
breeze caressed his back. As he started to write
another hand, a soft, female hand gently enclosed his
own and corrected the hold he had on the instrument.
"Writing is not something to be conquered, Teal'c,"she counseled
softly. "And neither am I." His mind's
eye turned and saw the face of the woman who had captured his heart so
long ago. Her almond-shaped eyes
cast down on what he was writing than on his face. That is how she always
was--modest, demure, and yet
wise beyond her years. She was an apprentice scribe. More accurately,
she was the daughter of the Chief
scribe of Apophis. And the more he'd seen of May'at, his desire
to mate with her was becoming harder and
harder to ignore. She had captured his mind, body and soul, and he swore
to do everything in his power to
make her his.
Teal'c couldn't help but take in how beautiful she looked. The
white gauze dress she wore taunted him to
try and reveal the glorious secrets underneath it. His gaze drifted down
the drape of neck past the elaborate
braids kissing her neck and shoulders, and past the cartouche that spelled
her name. The cartouche in
turn pointed towards the soft swell of her breasts. He drew his breath
in sharply as his gaze lingered
there.
"You are not paying attention," May'at playfully chided.
The student scribe who was his teacher
grasped his writing hand more firmly. Her other hand stroked his
gently. He couldn't help but wish it were
stroking something else.
"On the contrary," he said looking deep into her dark brown
eyes, "I am most definitely paying attention."
She returned his intent gaze and replied, "I mean to what you are
writing on the papyrus." She knew full
well his attention was more on her than what she was trying to teach
him.
Teal'c leaned in closer to her and said, "I find it hard to concentrate
on this with such a beautiful
teacher." May'at blushed, making her dark skin become an even
warmer shade of brown. She leaned in closer
to Teal'c, brushing her breasts teasingly against his arm.
"Are you saying I am more beautiful that I am a good teacher?"
she asked, her full lips a mere fraction of
an inch from his own. The smell of her perfume was strong, but
the smell of her desire for him was even
stronger.
He decided to answer her question by kissing her gently. His free
hand slipped up towards her neck and
drew her closer to him so he could deepen the kiss. May'at did not resist,
and this served to fueled his
passion. Teal'c let go of the brush so he could run his hand along the
curve of her hip and then settle on
the small of her back. The forgotten scribe's instrument rolled
off of the desk while he and the
object of his desire slowly sank to the linen-covered marble floor.
As he put a pillow under her head, he
looked into her eyes intently and pushed her legs apart with his knee.
May'at looked at him with the same desire in her eyes as he had.
Instinctively, she licked her lips and
slid her hands up his well-muscled chest. Her hands glided across
his hairless head before encircling his
neck and pulling him closer to her. Their tentative kiss quickly
dissolved into that of extreme urgency.
Hands were everywhere, searching, probing for something urgently needed.
Within seconds, clothing
had become and afterthought and erotic fantasy gave way to mind-blowing
sexual reality.
_We vowed to love each other forever_, he wrote, smiling at the memory.
_But why she did not become my
wife is a story for another time._
_This woman at the SGC--she looks so much like May'at yet she is not
she. She looks for no mate, advertises
no dowry, and shows no sign of betrothal. I do not know what her rank
is here, but I gather it must be of
some great importance. She enters an area where only the highest
of rank may go. And not only that--she
frequently is granted an audience with them. Where she serves is
highly guarded and, although I do have
permission to go where she is, I do not. I leave her to her work
the same way as I left May'at to do hers.
She is not aware that I watch her from behind the dark glass. She
is drawn into her work the same way as
May'at--oblivious to anything else around her.
_She has the body of a woman. One highly sought after would she
be living on my world. If I were still
there, it would have only been a matter of time before Apophis would
order me to bring her to him. On Chulak,
beauty was often more of a curse than a blessing. This was especially
evident in the way Apophis seemed
to have an almost insatiable need for concubines. The ones that
were his favorites were rewarded by becoming
hosts for the Goa'uld against their will. But here, on this world
called Earth, there is no such threat.
I hope, work and struggle with all my being to see it will remain that
way.
_That is the strange thing about this world. It is my new home,
but I do not know where I fit in. At least
not yet. If I were on Chulak, I would know what to
do next about pursuing her. On this world, I am not
sure what to do._
Teal'c stopped writing. He was tired and figured he'd done enough
for one evening. Remembering what had
happened between him and May'at all those years ago was too much to deal
with right now. Locking the
journal, he started removing his clothing and prepared himself for meditation.
But just before retiring, he
stopped in front of a mirror and looked at himself completely naked.
He was surprised to find himself
doing this. The last time he did was during his courtship with Drey'auch.
Of course, it wasn't really
a courtship. Her family had put up a considerable dowry, his family accepted,
Apophis blessed it and it
was so. As he settled in for the evening, he wondered what this
new object of his desire thought of him.
That was his last thought as his mind eye turned inward again to reminisce.
"Please explain to me why you look at yourself so much," May'at
asked, propping herself up on one elbow.
"Do you need to reassure yourself that you are....pleasant
to look at?" Her eyes drifted up and
down the length of his well-toned body as he stood in front of the mirror.
It had been some time since
they'd last seen each other, and even longer since the first time they'd
given themselves to each other.
May'at looked at him seductively as he kneeled over her.
"My mother was right," he said, kissing her softly. "You
will never get a suitable husband with that
attitude."
"I cannot please everyone."
"You please me," he said, kissing the back of her ear. He
smiled as she shuddered at his touch. May'at
stifled a small scream as he suddenly slipped a finger inside her still-wet
sex. Her scream was followed by
a deep groan as he pushed another finger inside of her. She instinctively
pushed her body against his
fingers, crying out as they brushed the most sensitive part of her.
"We cannot do this again," she whispered breathlessly into
his ear. "What if we are discovered?"
Teal'c gave her a devilish smile. "What if we are?" he
asked. He wasn't the least bit worried. If they
were caught he would have an excuse not to do what had been told.
May'at laughed heartily. "You are devious," she said, rolling
over on top of him. "And you would be my
undoing if I allowed it."
He was through talking. He didn't know how long it would be until
he saw her again. And he knew the next
time he saw her, he couldn't give in to his deep passion for her because
he would be married to someone
else. Married to someone he didn't truly love. It was not
supposed to turn out this way. It should have
been he and May'at getting married. He'd promised himself that
would be what happened. How was he to
know fate would decide for him? Rather than ponder that question,
his hands found her hips and impaled her
onto him. This is how he wanted to remember her: naked, breathless
and crying out for him to fill that
place deep inside her being that only he could.
May'at clapped a hand over her mouth to prevent a loud moan of pleasure
to escape from her lips. She didn't
want the Serpent guards stationed outside to hear what she was doing.
She knew they had to know but out of
loyalty to Teal'c, they would say nothing. It seemed being First
Prime came with certain perks. _We should
not be doing this,_ her mind chided. He was, after all, about to
be married to someone else. Even if
there was a loophole that allowed them to be together like this.
He rolled her onto her back and slowly began thrusting in and out of
her. "You do not have to keep quiet," he
told her, caressing her face.
"But," she protested with a whisper.
"I want to hear you. I need to hear you," he pleaded
in a deep, lust-filled voice.
She arched her back to get him even deeper inside of her. And when
she did so, she gasped loudly. Hearing
her respond to his pleasuring her only spurred him to thrust faster and
deeper. As the tempo of their
mating increased, likewise did the volume of their passion. The
cries, grunts and moans of their ardor
rose up into the twilight sky and culminated in an ear-shattering duet
of screaming and shouting upon
finding their release. As they settled into the afterglow of their
love, he was not afraid if they
were caught. Nothing would be official until tonight. Until
then, nothing was permanent.
Teal'c stopped himself from reminiscing any further. The rush of memories
was too vivid for him to handle
and the obvious sign of arousal was proof of it. He missed having
a warm body to greet him, and lie next
to him.
Correction. He missed May'at's body next to him.
"Perhaps O'Neill is right about what I need," he muttered to
himself as he sat down on the floor and
began to meditate.
"So you see," Daniel said between sips of his coffee, "we're
hoping you'll be able to help us." The mess
hall at the Cheyenne Mountain complex wasn't his idea of a conference
room. But he figured it was enough
for what he needed to talk about.
"So do I," the woman said to Daniel. "Of course,
you know the prototypes will have to be battle tested
against the Goa'uld."
"Unfortunately I am painfully aware," he droned. "Out
of all the members of the SGC teams the person who
would best be able to help you is Teal'c."
"He's the Jaffa, right?"
"Right," he affirmed. "And he's become a real good
friend to me." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw
Teal'c approaching them. "Well, speak of the devil..."
Teal'c gave Daniel a strange look as he walked up to their table.
But when he saw the woman seated across
from him, his expression softened. He felt rooted where he stood
as he looked the woman over. This
woman, the one he'd been observing for so long, the one who had given
him the inspiration to write, was
now right here in front of him.
And he didn't know what the hell to do.
"Teal'c is a man of very few words," Daniel explained, obviously
very intrigued how his normally confident
friend seemed absolutely indecisive at the moment.
"I am sorry," he said, not taking his eyes off of the woman.
He couldn't seem to pull himself away from her
dark brown eyes, deep brown skin and smooth dark brown hair whose gentle
curves framed her beautiful face.
Her resemblance to May'at was uncanny. The two of them could have
been twins.
Teal'c," Daniel said slowly, extremely amused at how taken the Jaffa
seemed with the woman. "This is Dr.
Porter."
"Actually," she began, "my first name is,"
"Kayla," Teal'c interrupted. Dr. Porter seemed a little
taken aback.
"How do you know my name?" she asked, now seeming more intrigued
than shocked.
"Your cartouche," he said with an even smile. Kayla fingered
it nervously as she noticed just how much of
her hills of cleavage were nestled around it. Right behind her
cartouche was a gold cross.
Suddenly, she felt like a complete idiot. "I apologize for not realizing,"
she said. "Besides Dr. Jackson
here you're the only one who can read 'glyphs without needing a cheat
sheet."
"Dr. Porter is doing some work in research and development,"
Daniel added. "She's worked for quite a
few heavyweights in the defense sector."
Kayla looked embarrassed at Daniel's praise of her. "I hold degrees
in mechanical engineering and computer
science. Call me a nerd to the second power," she said with
a shrug.
Daniel seemed amazed that Teal'c had smiled *again*. Something was definitely
up. Dr. Porter had just used
a Tau'ri term and it had gone completely over Teal'c's head without him
asking for clarification.
"Teal'c, want some coffee?" Daniel asked. "I was
just about to get some more."
"Now Dr. Jackson," Kayla began. "You call this man your
friend and yet you offer him the mess hall
coffee?" She pointed an accusing finger at his coffee cup and said,
"That swill will rust your insides."
Daniel looked at her quizzically. "What's wrong with it?" he
asked.
Kayla sighed and slid her gold-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose.
"See," she said, looking at
Teal'c, "this is why I bring my own stash. Dr. Jackson, why
don't you be a dear and get some cups for
the three of us."
Daniel could take a hint. Kayla drummed her French-manicured nails
against the tabletop as she
watched Daniel leave.
"I wondered how long it would take for you to say something to me,"
she said to Teal'c. Her eyes were
still on Daniel.
"I am not sure what you mean," he asked, sitting down next
to Daniel's vacant spot.
She focused her attention on Teal'c now that Daniel was quite a distance
away. "I've seen you hanging
around my lab," she said with a smile, folding her hands in front
of her. "And I've seen you in the
halls. It seems as if when I'm approaching you, you find some way
to disappear before I can say hello.
Are you always in such a hurry?"
"At times," he said, mirroring her smile.
Her expression changed to that of inquisitiveness. "And when I look
at you," she said, looking a little
confused, "I get the funny feeling that I know you from somewhere."
"Perhaps."
"Are you always so short with words?"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow at her but kept smiling.
"I have a query of you," he asked.
"Shoot," she said. Teal'c looked confused.
"Ask me your question," she clarified with a smile.
"Unlike with most of the Tau'ri here, you do not seem to be uneasy
with my presence."
Now it was Kayla's turn to raise an eyebrow.
"I find you...interesting," she said. The truth of the
matter was she found him downright sexy but she
wasn't going to tell him that. She couldn't possibly tell him that right
now, the way that black T-shirt
was wearing him should be deemed illegal in 47 states. His
strong physique made her wish it were he sharing
a bed with her rather than the body pillow and vibrator she had now.
She thought if his body looks
this good on top, what does he look like down...
Kayla smacked herself out of her fantasy and continued. "Usually
men pursue me with some tired
pick-up lines. Makes me laugh when they think they can get me into
bed with that."
Kayla saw the question coming.
"Pick-up lines are a pre-mating ritual among the Tau'ri," she
clarified. "Now, you've done a lot of
looking but no talking until now."
"I did not wish to disturb you."
"If you wished to talk to me Teal'c, it would not have been a disturbance,"
she said sweetly. Kayla noticed
how he looked at her. He didn't just look at her; it was like he
was looking through her-deep down to the
core of her being. It was as if he was trying to peer into her
soul. Tried, as she wanted to, she couldn't
pull her eyes away from his gaze.
"I'm back," Daniel teased. Neither Teal'c or Kayla acknowledged
him. He looked from one to the other and
was so amused he almost laughed out loud. "Hello!"
"Oh," Kayla said, shaking her head slightly, "Thanks for
getting these." Kayla unscrewed the top from a
stainless steel thermos and poured 3 cups of coffee the color of warm
sand. Its sweet smell was something
utterly familiar to Teal'c, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"Enjoy," she said, taking a sip of her
coffee. Daniel winced after tasting his.
"Dr. Porter, this is way to sweet to be called coffee," Daniel
whined.
"This is much too good to be called...coffee," Teal'c said.
He took another sip and relished the smooth,
creamy sweetness of the beverage. Maybe there was some hope for
Tau'ri food after all.
"Well, it is coffee. I just doctor it up in my own special
way. Actually, it's 1/2 coffee, 1/2 half and
half, and a couple drops of hazelnut and almond essence with a dash of
nutmeg. Took me years to come
up with this," she said, narrowing her eyes at Daniel. "And
if the night is really cold, I put in a couple
shots of Captain Morgan. God knows it is cold in this place."
"It is delicious," Teal'c told her. Kayla blushed.
"Nice to see someone appreciates..." Suddenly, her beeper went
off.
"Duty calls?" Daniel asked.
"No," she said, holding the beeper up to see the number more
clearly. The exasperated expression she
had on her face said it wasn't a number she liked. "It's Captain
Dick," she spat.
"Who is Captain Dick?" Teal'c asked.
Kayla sighed heavily. "My soon to be ex-husband. His actual
name is Captain John Rogers but since he's been
such a jerk to me I like to call him Captain Dick."
"Captain Rogers?" Daniel asked. "I heard he worked
on some projects with Colonel Mayborne. And I think he
was caught up in that whole artifact theft thing."
Teal'c stiffened up at the mention of Mayborne's name.
"Yeah. They're two of a kind. No wonder they enjoy each
other's company." Kayla stood up, straightened
her lab jacket and collected her tray. "I gotta call the asshole
back anyway. He's probably mad because I
want the Lexus as part of the divorce settlement. Knowing him, he got
temporary amnesia and forgot I'm
the one who paid for the thing."
Kayla pocketed the beeper. "Dr. Jackson, we'll talk later.
Teal'c," she said, her face smiling once
again. "Dr. Jackson here says you'll be able to help me with my
latest project. I look forward to seeing
you soon." And with that said, she walked away.
"As do I," Teal'c said, his eyes locked on the swaying form
of her body as she walked away. He was so
entranced in looking at her that he didn't even hear Daniel.
"Teal'c?"
He still didn't respond. Daniel waved a hand in front of his face
and that finally snapped Teal'c out of his
trance.
"Yes?" he asked, a little annoyed.
"Nothing," Daniel said, laughing.
"Hey you guys," Jack said as he sat down. "Did you see
the ass on that civilian who just walked by?" His
eyes remained plastered to the form of Dr. Porter who was eloquently
cursing out her estranged husband on
her cell phone. The way she stormed out of the doors of the cafeteria
made him think he was damn lucky not
to be on the other side.
"O'Neill," Teal'c began. "It would be best if you did
not speak of Dr. Porter so disrespectfully."
"Why?" Jack looked confused. Daniel decided to
enlighten him.
"Um, I think Teal'c is interested in her," Daniel said.
"Really?" Jack said with a smirk. He looked at Teal'c,
trying to get some acknowledgement out of him.
"DanielJackson is correct in his assessment," Teal'c said plainly.
O'Neill let a devilish smile spread over his face. "Teal'c,"
he began, "I'm glad you're taking my
advice."
"And what was that?" Daniel asked as he took a sip of mess
hall coffee.
"That he get laid."
Daniel turned five shades of red before settling down.
"Oh please, Daniel," Jack spat, "Like we both don't know
Teal'c would be a lot less uptight if he got
some."
Both of them knew the answer to that but decided it was best not to say
so.
"Simply mating with her is not my intention," Teal'c said flatly.
"Really? Because if it was me that would definitely be my
intention. I mean, did you get a real good look
at her? Granted, that lab coat hides a lot but it definitely does not
hide that nice amount of cleavage
she's got-among other things. It would definitely make me revert
back to childhood." Jack paused to let
his words sink in. "Wouldn't you say so Daniel?"
"I thought you never left childhood, Jack," Carter said as
she sat down. "And what twisted joke did you
play on poor Daniel? He looks beyond embarrassed."
"Well, um...it's nothing," he stammered as he went back to
drinking Dr. Porter's coffee.
"Actually, it is *something*," Jack said between bites of mystery
meat. "You just missed Teal'c's new
girlfriend."
Granted Teal'c wasn't familiar with the word 'girlfriend', he could definitely
infer its meaning.
He wasn't sure whether to acknowledge what Jack had said or tell him
it was none of his business.
"From the way you were looking at her I'd swear you knew her from
somewhere," Daniel said. He figured his
statement was pretty safe.
Teal'c gave all of them him his usual expressionless glance. "It
is complicated," he said flatly.
"Give the guy a break, will you?" Sam said. "Jeez.
You guys are worse than teenagers."
Teal'c just smiled as he took yet another drink of Dr. Porter's coffee.
He'd be lying if he did not admit
the thought of mating with her had not crossed his mind. That aside,
he wanted something more from her.
He wasn't sure what, but he figured it would soon come to him.
His subconscious told him that somehow, some
way, May'at had been brought back to him. And this time, he wouldn't
make the same mistake with Kayla
that he made with her.
The End
Feedback to Trish Williams
