COMMENT: Buck has a little trouble with some women. Feedback welcome good or bad send my way ...thanks.
Buck stood before the mirror and admired himself. He had to admit
he was one mighty handsome human being!! No wonder the women liked him.
He placed his hat on his head and stepped outside, observed the morning
with gusto and began making his way to the saloon. He was looking forward
to the 4th of July celebration and big dance on Saturday night. Yes,
he just knew he was going to have a fine time, he could feel it in his
Buck's bones were wrong. If Buck had known what was in store for him
he would have gone to the livery, saddled his horse and ridden for the
border, pronto. But he didn't.
The single women in Four Corners were in a dither, the big 4th of
July celebration was in two days and those without an escort were getting
a little anxious. Unbeknownst to Buck, his name topped the list of escorts
to the dance of three especially persuasive women in town. Each fine
woman, had one thought and that was that they were going to the dance
with Mr. Wilmington come hell or high water and that was that. It was
to bad they had not known about each other and decided his fate over
a friendly hand of poker or maybe just a friendly game of mumbly peg.
It would have been in Buck's best interests if they had. But they didn't
know of each other's plans thus the wheels were in set in motion for
Buck to become the talk of the town and for awhile even of the territory.
Lulu O'Malley was just making her way down the boardwalk looking like
she was scouting for game when she ran into her prey.....I mean Buck.
"Lulu." Buck touched the brim of his hat and dipped his head, then
prepared to move around her when she mirrored his movements and blocked
"Excuse me Lulu you seem to be blocking my way.........?"
"Well, for good reason Buck Wilmington."
"What reason is that?"
"I need to know why you haven't asked me to the dance yet?"
Buck grinned and looked Lulu in the eyes and said, "Well, Lulu I just
haven't asked anyone yet. I'm still makn' up my mind."
Lulu had Irish red hair, an Irish name and an Irish temper to match.
Buck had seen the temper portion of her Irish heritage in action a couple
of times. And now he could see the tattletale signs of that temper beginning
to appear on her face. Storm clouds were forming in her eyes, a frown
was slipping down her forehead, and her lips were beginning to be pursed
into a hard grim line. She was going to blow any minute now unless he
relented and asked her to the dance. A quick evasive action like running
for the saloon and out the back quickly ran through his mind but was
dismissed as he was sure she and her four big brothers would eventually
find him and he knew the meeting would not have a pleasant outcome for
him. They were very protective of their only sister. No it was better
to just go to the dance with her.
"Why Lulu I would love to take you to the dance. I'll meet you at
the dance around 7:00, is that alright with you?"
Lulu smiled and nodded in agreement. That had been easier than she
had imagined. She'd told her Pa she didn't need her brother's help in
getting a date to the dance.
Lulu wasn't Buck's first choice to the dance but when it came right
down to it he'd rather go to the dance with her than have to go see Nathan
about some broken part of his anatomy later on because he hadn't taken
her to the dance. Fear of pain was a great motivator.
Buck made his way into the saloon and ordered up some breakfast and
was just finishing up when Anna Mae Adams peered over the batwing doors
of the saloon and spotted Buck. Though she had never been in a saloon
and was a little apprehensive about entering, she was at a fever pitch
to get her date nailed down for the dance so she took a deep breath and
proceeded on through the doors.
"Anna Mae, what are you doin' in here? Won't your Daddy be mad if
he sees you in here?" Buck knew Anna Mae's Daddy to be a teetotaler and
that he would not be overjoyed at seeing his daughter in a saloon.
"Now Buck, Daddy's down at the Mercantile getting some supplies and
he'll be awhile, so there's no need to worry about him. I came to see
you cuz I got somthn' to ask you." Anna Mae slid out a chair from the
table and snuggled it up next to Buck's chair and sat down.
Buck took it as a bad sign of things to come when he felt the hair
begin to rise on the back of his neck. He slid his chair away from Anna
Mae's . Anna Mae followed, snuggling her chair once again next to his.
"Buck, don't be so skitterish I'm not going to bite you, I just want
to ask you somthn'."
Buck looked at her warily. "Well go ahead and ask, I'm not stoppn'
"I just want to know what time you want to meet me at the dance?"
"Anna Mae I have a date for the dance."
"Well Buck I know it won't be to hard for you to just get rid of that
"How do you purpose I do that, Anna Mae?"
"Oh Buck, make up some story or somethn' it isn't hard to do. And
before you say anything else I would like to remind you Daddy is still
wantn' to know who ran through his prize watermelon patch and ruined
his chances of a blue ribbon over at the county fair next month."
"Now, Anna Mae you know that wasn't done on purpose, and it wasn't
my fault your Daddy came home early causin' me to hasten my departure
like that from your lovely lips." Buck turned his head slightly and ran
that sentence back through his mind and decided he had been around Ezra
"I know that Buck, but I don't think Daddy would look upon the situation
in the same way. You know he had his heart set on winning that blue ribbon
and his mind is just as set on usin' his shotgun on the person who ran
his horse through his melon patch. So if you prefer the buckshot I can
arrange it but I'm sure you would have a much more pleasant time taking
me to the dance than having Nathan pick buckshot out of your backside."
"Anna Mae that's blackmail!"
Anna Mae bobbed her head in agreement as she murmured, "Uh-huh."
"I'll meet you at 7:30 at the dance."
"I knew you'd see it my way Buck. We'll have such a good time." Anna
Mae stood, uttered a pleasant good-bye and made her way out of the saloon.
Buck shook his head in disbelief . He couldn't tell Lulu he wasn't
going with her. She'd have those brohters of hers on his trail in a flash.
He would just have to take two women to the dance.
His day was deteriorating rapidly. It was only 10:00 am as Buck went
to the bar and ordered a large beer.
The afternoon found Buck sitting in front of the jail thinking on
the events of the morning and watching some of the men build the stage
for Saturday when he looked across the street to see Emily Johnson engaged
in a rather loud conversation with the McSwain twins, Abner and Elmer.
Then he saw Emily point in his direction and motion for him to come to
Now Emily Johnson was one of the most beautiful women in Four Corners
and Buck had always admired her but never'd had the opportunity to know
her very well. He saw opportunity knock when she motioned to him and
so moseyed on across the street to stand next to her.
"Can I be of some assistance Miss Johnson?" Buck said this while frowning
and eyeing the twins up and down.
"Why yes you can Mr Wilmington. These boys won't leave me alone. They
just keep pestering me to go with one of them to the dance on Saturday.
I told them I was going with you but they don't believe me. Please tell
them so they will go away!" Two large tears slid slowly down her cheeks.
Buck saw his chance to save the beautiful damsel in distress and loudly
proclaimed that her statement was true. The twins mumbled something about
the next dance, turned and walked away.
Emily turned toward Buck with a tear still in her eye and threw her
arms around Buck thanking him profusely. She also asked him what time
he would he meeting her at the dance?
Buck liked Emily hugging him very, very much and the only thoughts
twirling around in his head were how good she felt pressed against his
body and how good she smelled when he uttered the words " 8:00 o'clock
would be fine."
"Thank you Buck, your such a dear. I'll be sure and be there waiting
for you around 8 o'clock." Emily extracted herself from the embrace,
straightened her hat and wiped a small tear from her cheek gave Buck
a big smile, waved good bye, then turned and continued on her way.
Buck was left standing in somewhat of a daze. Then it hit him like
a bolt of lightening as to what he had done and he let out a loud groan
and threw his hat to the ground. Three women!!! What was he going to
do? He needed pondern' time. He picked up his hat and headed toward the
If Buck would have followed Emily down the boardwalk he would have
seen an interesting transaction take place between the McSwain twins
and Emily. A transaction that involved the passing of $5.00 from Emily's
cute handbag to each of the twins. He would have also heard Emily thank
them for a job well done.
The next day Buck did not venture far from his room. When he did go
out to eat he was on constant lookout for any women. If he spotted any
woman coming toward him, whether old, young, fat, skinny, tall, or short
he either crossed the street or turned and walked in the opposite direction.
He could not take a chance of having to take yet another woman to the
dance on Saturday.
Saturday morning was a bright and sunny day ......for some. For Buck
it was a worrisome time, a time to panic, a time to get out of town?
For all his pondern' yesterday and the day before he had not come up
with any plan. The only plan he had was to keep the women apart. Lordy!!
He could just imagine if they got together and found they were sharing
him with two other women!!
He might as well head for Mexico if they found out. Lulu's brothers
would beat him to a pulp, Ana Mae's father would fill him with buckshot,
and he didn't know Emily well enough to know what she would do but he
was sure she would think of something equally harmful.
What had he done? Taking three women at once to the dance and all
expecting him to pay attention to them, dance with them, talk to them,
fetch them punch.....what was he going to do? A panic attack consumed
Buck until he came to his senses and realized who he was. HE WAS BUCK
WILMINGTON! There was no need to panic, surely he could manage three
women. There was no need to panic or get out of town. He would look upon
tonight as a challenge and if he survived he would have one hell of a
story to tell in the saloon on Saturday nights.
The dance was in full swing on the main street of Four Corners. The
band was on the stage playing like there was no tomorrow and the people
were having a grand time. In the beginning even Buck was doing quite
well considering all the moving back and forth between his dates he had
He had managed to stash each one as far apart from each other as he
could. Emily was at one end of the crowd, Lulu at the other end, and
Anna Mae centered in the middle near the boardwalk. Buck was getting
quite the workout dancing every dance and in between getting one of the
ladies punch and food. As the evening wore on he became more and more
exhausted moving back and forth between them all and he was running short
on excuses as to why he had to keep disappearing. It was his slowness
in getting back to Lulu that started his downfall.
Lulu had been waiting for Buck to get back with her plate of food
and punch when she got tired of waiting and went on the prowl for him.
When she spotted him holding hands with Anna Mae and then leading her
to the dance floor Lulu's Irish temper begin to simmer. She stood rooted
to the spot watching them dance. When the dance ended she watched Buck
plant a quick peck on the cheek of Anna Mae, lead her to a spot near
the boardwalk, and then begin to make his way to the other end of the
Lulu was never one to be shy. She walked up to Anna Mae and point
blank asked her what she thought she was doing with her date? This led
to quite a discussion between Anna Mae and Lulu. When the discussion
ended they were both a little red in the face and they both immediately
plunged into the crowd in search of Mr Wilmington.
They bared down on Buck's position with great determination but pulled
up short when they saw him dancing up a storm with Emily. There are no
words to describe the anger that welled up in those two women. They both
looked as if they would explode. When the dance ended Anna Mae, being
the calmest, physically held Lulu back from charging froward and giving
Buck a roundhouse punch to the jaw.
They both stood and watched Buck give Emily a squeeze to the arm and
brush his lips across her cheek before heading once again into the crowd.
As soon as Buck disappeared Anna Mae and Lulu went right on over to Emily
and begin to chat. Their chat lasted quite awhile and involved a great
deal of planning and held the promise of great embarrassment to Mr Buck
In the meantime Buck had gone back to where he thought he had left
Lulu and could not find her. Wasn't Lulu next on his list to see? Maybe
it was Anna Mae he was supposed to dance with next? He was getting a
little confused trying to keep all of them straight. He made his way
back to where he had left Anna Mae and much to his surprise he saw not
only Anna Mae but Lulu, and Emily too. Little prickles of fear shot up
his spine and then through his entire body and he slowly started to back
up into the crowd ready to bolt for safety.
"Now Buck we thought you'd be glad to see all of us together. Now
come on over here and let us talk with you." Emily said this in the silkiest
voice she could manage while Lulu and Anna Mae gave him their most winning
Buck narrowed his eyes and peered at them in the dim light to make
sure they weren't packin' weapons and then scanned the area to make sure
Lulu's brothers or Anna Mae's father were not standing nearby.
"Come on Buck, we want to buy you a drink and discuss our little problem.
No one is mad, we just want to talk." This came from Lulu who gestured
toward the saloon doors behind her.
"But you all don't drink. Why would you buy me a drink?"
"Now Buck we know you must be plumb wore out and mighty thirsty from
all that shuffling you've been doing and thought you might enjoy a nice
drink." Emily and Anna Mae nodded eagerly in agreement with what Lulu
Buck made his way to Emily's side and followed the other two into
the saloon to a table in the back. Once they were all settled in and
had ordered a bottle of whiskey and three sarsaparillas Buck asked them
for the third time if they were sure they weren't mad at him?
"Why no Buck we're not mad we just want you to have a good time. And
when we get done here we'll just take turns dancing with you and fetchin'
you food and we'll have a grand time." If Buck had looked a little closer
he would have seen that Anna Mae's teeth were clinched and her hands
formed into tiny tight fists when she said this.
Lulu filled his glass again with whiskey.
"Why you ladies are just plum so understandin' I can hardly believe
it! You know I was just plain worried sick when I thought you might find
out about each other. I even thought you might want to do me some harm
if you all found out about each other."
"Why Buck we would never harm you in any way." Emily's fingers were
crossed beneath the table as she uttered these words.
As the hour wore on Buck's glass was never empty and his story telling
never stopped. When the bottle was almost empty Buck begin to feel extremely
sleepy and a little dizzy. He tried to stand but didn't have the strength
and then he tried to focus on the three faces in front of him but saw
only blurry images. His head fell to the table and he saw nothing but
a blackness dotted with little pinpoints of light. Poor Buck.
"I thought that powder Inez gave you was supposed to work faster."
Emily said this while repeatedly picking up Buck's hand and dropping
it on the table. She was making sure he was out.
"I didn't want to give him to much and have him sleeping permanently
so I just gave him a little with each drink. I still have some left over."
Lulu tucked it away the extra knock out powder in her pocket.
Anna Mae scooted her chair out from the table and walked to the front
of the saloon and saw that the crowd was breaking up and that the band
had left the stage. A few more minutes and the crowd would be gone. She
scanned the saloon until she spotted a chair with coasters and pushed
it on over to where Buck lay.
With all three pulling and pushing they managed to get Buck into the
chair and roll him to a back room in the saloon. Once there they prepared
him for his stage debut.
Buck woke Sunday morning a little chilly, he groaned and without opening
his eyes reached down to pull up a blanket. His hand flopped around blindly
searching for the blanket. He finally got his eyelids open a tad more
to search for the blanket when he realized he wasn't in his room or anyone
else's room for that matter.
He swore he heard snickering and someone gasp.
His eyelids flew all the way open and he sat up with a start. He quickly
looked around and discovered he was in the middle of the outdoors stage.
Worst of all he found himself to be naked. Not only was he naked but
he had red, white and blue splotches all over his body. He wet his finger
with his tongue and ran it over a blue spot then licked his finger. Blueberry.
He did the same with a red spot. Strawberry. He didn't have to taste
a white spot to know that it was the whitewash left over from painting
He couldn't believe how down right mean those women had been!!
"You look awful patriotic this mornin' Buck." Josiah's observation
was met with loud laughs from the small crowd that had gathered below
"Buck, did you know you're "Buck Naked"?" JD almost fell over from
laughter at the play on words. The crowd got a good laugh out of the
Buck glared at JD and Josiah and made a mental note to think of some
deed to vex them both with as soon as he got out of this mess.
"Were three ladies to much for you Buck?" More laughter followed JD's
remark. Everyone in the crowd had something to add to these most humorous
"I'm sure you all find this most amusing but I could use a little
help here so would someone lend me a coat or somethin' to wear until
I can get my clothes back? JD? Josiah?"
"Now Buck you know my clothes are way to small for you. And the weather
is a might nippy this mornin' so I know Josiah needs his coat." JD let
out a laugh along with Josiah.
"You both will be sorry later on about not helpn' me!"
"You have to find us first Buck." Josiah slapped JD on the back as
he said this and then they both doubled over with glee.
Buck was getting desperate. The crowd seemed to be getting bigger
and the remarks more numerous and still no one had offered any clothing.
Ignoring the catcalls and whistles he finally belly crawled to the
edge of the stage and ripped loose some red, white, and blue bunting
from the front of the stage. He then wrapped it around him toga style
and and walked off the stage and down the stairs toward his room.
After much cursing and many hours at the bathhouse Buck's natural
skin color returned. Though it took many months, he even started talking
to Lulu, Anna Mae, and Emily. And of course he did find JD and pay him
and Josiah back for not helping him while he was naked and helpless on
the stage. But that's another story. So truth be told Buck, largely due
to his natural sunny disposition and good nature, fared pretty well considering
His name did become well known throughout Four Corners, and even the
territory for awhile, due to the telling and retelling of the "Buck Naked"
story. The story always brought laughter to those who heard it and started
lively conversations especially when it came up for telling in mixed
company as it always divided the listeners into two groups.
One group, mostly made up of men, would take Buck's side and say he
didn't deserve the treatment he got from the women since he'd been tricked
and threatened to date them in the first place.
Then there was the other side, mostly women, who argued that if Buck
had stood up to Lulu's brothers, told the truth to Anna Mae's father
and not thought of himself as such a savior to women and not asked Emily
out when he already had two dates, he wouldn't have found himself naked
in the middle of town on the 5th of July.
The debate still rages on to this day whenever "Buck Naked" is told.
Please post a comment on this story or send feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read posted comments.
Read posted comments.
The M7FFA is an archive for fan fiction. Each story or other work available on this archive was created for the enjoyment of the fans with no intention to infringe on any copyright. No profit has been gained from this archive. The specific content of each work is © the original author/creator and should not be posted or reproduced elsewhere without the creator's express permission.