Disclaimer: Not mine. No profit.

Ratings: PG

Gratitude Series: #5

by Penny M.

Dang it! Why is everybody always trying to hide things from me, keep me outta trouble, spare my feelings? Heck, I've seen almost as much as you guys.

I've been in that bed, been there too many times. I hear you guys, worrying about me, talkin' about me, saying you're gonna tie me up til I'm 40, teach me not to fan my gun, break cover . . . save my friends. I hate it when you say it to me, so I don't say it to you, to all of you who have been in that same bed just like I have. I feel it, but I won't say it.

You're always telling me what to do, what not to do. Well, since when do any of you listen to your own advice?

I came out west for adventure, you guys taught me loyalty and friendship means more. And if I was willing to die for excitement, don't you think I'd risk it all to just belong with you guys?

What? I'm supposed to sit back and watch you guys stick up for each other, stick up for me and not try to repay the favor? Buncha hypoc . . . hippo, aw, hell, buncha fakers. Watch what I do, but don't do it, you'll get yourself killed. Get down, stay here, what'cha trying to do, get your fool head blown off?

No, I'm not. I'm trying to be like you, like all of you. You show me everyday how to be a man, but none of you wanna let me.

I don't want to be the kid, the tagalong, the pest, the runt or the greenhorn. I want to be one of you guys, I want to pull my weight, not slow you down or cause you to break cover . . . or see you get shot. Damn it. Is that too much to ask?


Feedback to: PenKatt@aol.com